#which energy are you adding
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syn4k · 1 year ago
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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joelletwo · 7 months ago
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now this is gonna sound really stupid and i need no one to call me stupid about it -> it turns out when u make food that is more than the bare minimum to be edible. ie make it a lil fancy w a lot of flavors and textures going on (scary to me <- autist). u want to eat it more. and even tho its more work. sometimes the prospect of eating something that actually tastes great is motivating enough to get u thru the work. and so conversely it is easier to keep up a consistent eating routine. bc ur not also constantly bailing on planned mediocre dinners to eat all ur backup stock of emergency instant meals.
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skyloftian-nutcase · 7 months ago
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Hero of Power my beloved punching bag ❤️
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m1d-45 · 2 years ago
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Let it be known that I love writing fluff, and I listen to character audios sometimes. SO! I came up with a cute idea for sagau imposter au. I heard somewhere that Xiao's adeptus form is a bird, so I wonder, what kind of bird? And that got me thinking. Xiao being a little song bird, or perhaps even a cardinal.
Now imagine: while looking for the imposter, Xiao stumbles upon them sitting beneath a tree, just feeding some birds. Said birds are absolutely loving the attention since the creator of Teyvat is giving them food and love!
Xiao watches, rather curious. The creator he knows hates birds, because they always dive and cause problems for them. But now... these little birds have completely abandoned any fear they may hold for human beings, happily landing on the hands and shoulders of this supposed imposter.
So he decides to test something.
Xiao turns into a small bird and approaches cautiously. In his smaller form, he's vulnerable to attack. But the person before him doesn't try to hurt him. Rather, they smile and call him "little friend" as they offer food to him. In his distrust, he bites them with his sharp beak.
His heart shatters when he sees divine blood spilling from the wound.
He's about to fly away, get as far away from here as he can. He found the true creator, and instead of worshipping them, he bit them! He caused them to bleed, he shouldn't even be near them-!
His mind stills when they pet his feathered head.
They murmur kind words to him, apologizing to him. They believed that they had startled him, that he bit to protect himself. They forgave him, they felt no hatred towards him, no anger or disappointment. Instead, they offered some chopped almonds, hoping he'd prefer that over bird seed.
He sang for them as he perched on their shoulder.
After that, he did his best to secretly protect the creator he'd harmed. He would adopt his smaller form and sing for them when they felt sad, and he'd use his human form to guard them from a distance. Yes, it made his chest ache whenever they looked at him with fear when they saw his more human form, but the yaksha only shook it off. It only made sense that you'd be scared. He was a frightening person, one that had tried to harm you before. He refused to try and change your feelings towards him. He didn't have the right.
He would be content to sing for you as a harmless bird.
-sibling anon (sorry if this is out of character for him I just like the idea)
oh….. he’s so soft…..
xiao hovering near the edge of the crowd, at first, drawing your attention since he doesn’t seem to be eating any of the seed you’d passed out.
when he finally hops within arms reach, you reach to nudge some of the food next to him closer, only to quickly whip your hand back. the birds around (on) you all flutter at the sudden movement, but you inspect your finger, the blue blood of teyvat welling up. your instinct is to stick it in your mouth, but that doesn’t seem safe considering a bird bit it, so you dab at it with a napkin.
the bird cries and flaps his wings, distraught, and your heart hurts. poor guy, you probably scared him, moving so quickly.
you pull out some chopped almonds from your pocket. the plan was to have them as a snack, but now… you put a few in your palm and close your hand around it, reaching forward to gently run two fingers over the birds back.
the other birds in the area seemed receptive to that, and this one does too, calming down considerably.
you take your hand back, opening your palm to drop the almonds on the floor, nudging them close before backing off.
“there you go,” you murmur, as the bird dips down to inspect the food. “i won’t hurt you.”
you allow yourself a silent cheer when it eats one of the almond pieces.
you see the small bird fluttering around you often, always on the edge of your vision. it’s easy to identify, the purple patch of feathers on its forehead easily standing out, and you’re always certain to push some food over to it. almonds, not birdseed.
the bird is a dark blue-teal, the underside of its wings a softer blue. it’s like no other bird you’ve seen in liyue, something that quickly catches your attention.
you brush some dirt off you as you stand, noting the way the bird immediately looks up from its food, unlike the others, to flap up into the tree you were sitting under.
you crack a smile, carefully reaching a finger for it. you’re slower this time, cautious of its skittish nature, but it lets you approach. when you carefully pet over its head, the birds eyes close.
your smile grows, and you try not to laugh at how confused the bird seems when you pull your hand away.
“i have to go,” you explain. “the millelith… they’re getting too close again. i won’t be able to see you again, little friend.”
the bird chirps, nearly indignant, and you do laugh this time. putting a small piece of almond on the branch in front of it, you wave goodbye to the other birds, seeing the blue one hadn’t touched the almond.
you frown. hopefully it’ll be alright….
xiao watches you until you’re out of sight, and even then, he stays on the branch.
you…. he’d forgotten you were being hunted by the millelith. he’d forgotten the order to look out for you. he’d forgotten the qixing called you a criminal.
who could blame him? it was easy to forget everything at your side, when you carefully ran your fingers over his feathers, scratching at his jaw with the edge of your nail. yes, he was vulnerable as a bird, but it was easy to be vulnerable with you. it was easy to be open, to sing as best he could in this form, to allow himself close enough to see the way your eyes lit up whenever another bird landed on your outstretched finger.
xiao dropped to the ground, morphing back into his human form. predictably, the birds cawed and flew away quickly. he watched them go, his mind contrasting it with how readily they flocked to you.
you…
he turned to the branch he was on, to the small almond piece left behind. the small symbol of your care, of how you recognized that he didn’t touch the birdseed and instead offered him your own food to eat. normally he wouldn’t lower himself to eating off the ground at all, let along bird food, but almonds weren’t awful and you seemed so happy when he ate..
xiao looked back to where you’d gone, to the sandbearer trees swaying in a soft wind.
he allowed his form to fall away and spread his wings, taking flight on the same breeze that urged you along.
perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little while longer, if it meant he could spend that time with you.
perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little longer, if it meant he’d get to spend that time with you.
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#sibling anon#bird!xiao shenanigans#btw he’s pretty in character#you can add a dash of a ‘mysterious calm in the air’ if you wanna be certain but he’s oretty pretty good as is#also! let it be known that i too like fluff!!#< been meaning to write a piece based on hugs ppl would give for a while now#dilucs near the top of the list which is kinda funny considering the shit i’m (hopefully) gonna pot tonight#post* whoop#post-valentines day sadness#this got WAY too long#forgive the old format i wasn’t gonna try n find more photos of liyue than i already have#writing this was hell. thanks tumblr. i really appreciate you glitching out my drafts.#i’m trying to save my writer energy to wrap up dilucs piece COME ON I DONT NEED THIS#had to write this on the website version of tumblr ugh. dislike.#anyway debating adding this to the masterlist bc it’s… so nice…#the vibes….. immaculate….#TUMBLR DELETED HALF MY FUCKING WRITING WHEN IT HIT POST WHAT THE FUCK#THIS IS WHY I WRITE ELSEWHERE THEN COPY PASTE TO THIS HELL#FUCK. IT WAS SO GOOD. WHY.#the last half of xiao’s part at the end is the bad shittier version of what i had written originally#i am bitter. but i guess i’ll have to die mad abt it.#ugh.#it cut off the last paragraph AGAIN WHY#hate. >:(#also mushroom anon send help one of my mutuals is doing a letter event in celebration of his 1k what do i do#ok it’s his 800 celebration but STILL HELP#whatever fuck it i’m done trying to get this to work#fuck it we ball
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carcarrot · 3 months ago
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ok sitting down for a moment at disneyland. elaborating on the post-beat concert shenanigans in the tags
#for those of you invested in my silly misadventures#ok so .#there was the meet n greet earlier which as i said was short but very nice and i was squimshed against ade for the photo#AFTER THE SHOW . go around the concert venue to the area by the stage door#but unlike the beacon theatre we were a long ways away from the stage door it was the huge parking lot and we were fenced off#and based off of the spars concert from last year at the beacon where the guys just left after we waited for almost an hour#i didnt really expect the beat guys would come over or anything but i was willing to wait a while#and wait a while we did and then danny carey came out and eventually came over to us and was really sweet and signed stuff#he wasnt taking any photos but was very nice just like the epitome of fun drummer guy#waited a while more. doubting still that the other guys would come over#next was adrian! and being the absolute sweetie he is he did come over and everything abt him is true#hes just the most wondrous sweet guy ever. he was also radiating comforting dad energy bc that annoying prog fan was there again#and ade was kind of like nicely protective where i was w my friend#ade also liked my inner revolution shirt and remembered me from the meet n greet :)#waited a while more and then eventually steve vai came out and well im sorry what can i say . i was 😵‍💫#it didnt help that when he signed my poster (as the other guys had before him) that like. his hand was resting on my hand god anyway#im sorry. old men musicians are my number one weakness as anyone whos been following me knows#oh i had gotten a blurry photo w ade and then got a flash photo w steve. its horrifying <3#we waited like an hour more for tony who was on a long ass phone call#but very nicely he came over too and somehow the photo w him turned out nicest. hes such a sweet polite guy#he also sounds like ron mael kinda lol#and thats my adventure!#and now ive spent an obscene amount to see em again. god
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myotherrideknowssurf · 6 months ago
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reblog this to add a basic energy card from your hand to one of your Pokémon
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dragontamer05 · 1 month ago
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No lie I can't recall the last time I did like just one long continuous thread.
Like sure still doing small side stuff, asks ect but just idk but also letting muses grow and develop through one long continuous - and not always having to say resort to completely dropping if whatever currently is going on has run its course and instead just time skip with it but let it keep going.
And I say this as some one who is also 100% happy to time skip and jump around.
And hey you want to go back in time and explore a scenario that could have happened earlier in their relationship / knowing each other
or jump forward to something way later or even just explore a what if scenario that doesn't have to happen but could depending how things go/ how we feel about it ect
Hell yah love it all - trying to have some time line consistency is good obviously and as long as we can agree on even a loose idea of How they got to Y or where X fits and what not then sure.
Am fine with even the longest of threads eventually getting a wrap up if things simply happen to feel right in the moment and is what gets decided, doesn't have to be an infinite thread - certainly not about to force one to go on if its reached a point it kinda feels dead but idk call me easily attached but there's sometimes where I can still find / feels like their might be still potential to be found in a thread and all it needs is a bit of tweaking.
The chapter came to an end but the book isn't over kinda thing. Maybe all it needs is a small time skip / scene change but there's still things to be explored within said plot/scenario / whatever is going on with the characters - that would still also work/fit within said thread instead of separating.
Similarly but kind of reverse is I am equally as happy generally to return to threads that were long previously dropped/abandoned. Whether cause someone wasn't feeling it any more or simply we ran into a writing wall and at the time were lost on how to continue it so was better not to force it. But if something new comes along be it from plotting / just newer interactions or simply with having time away from it whatever the reason if a spark suddenly arises and hey suddenly what if we connected - old thread to new idea - or any other reason to want to answer/continue go for it.
idk mostly I this is was just a really long rambly way of saying how I miss long threads. Short quick snippets are fun and fine but 9/10 I promise i am very much interested and fine with carrying a thread for as long and far as it'll go.
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t-u-i-t-c · 1 year ago
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reminder that i don't want my gifs to be reposted anywhere. if i say "please do not repost" in the initial tags or watermark the gifs, then it shouldn't be reposted. this is a simple request. giffing is something i put a lot of time into, and i do find it rude to repost my gifs. i've been pretty upfront about this request and it's really disheartening to see my work stolen. please, just read my guidelines and respect them.
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fell-court · 1 year ago
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The team is all here together at last, for what feels like one of the first times ever!~
From screen left to right: Omen (@ex-garlean), Lorenza (me, @fell-court), S'ria (@snow-system-wol), K'pheli (@crystal-verse), and Nimda (@soothingmind)!
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chainsandcherries · 4 months ago
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GOD ocd is such a bitch.
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keeps-ache · 3 months ago
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now annoying my brother by making up tunes and making him think they're real songs lmfshvjhs
#just me hi#when i finish a song sometimes i don't want it to end and i just keep adding on and changing it until it's not really the same anymore hfhs#and i add words sometimes too.. nobody sees that coming lolll#apparently he thinks most of the songs i sing to myself i made up. like dude my memory isn't that good lhfhsv#i forget them as soon as i'm finished but they're fun in the moment :3#if i had the patience for a music program i'd prolly do something about it but alas!! Alas !!#also i forget the tunes as Soon as i hear a real note. oh wells!#//okay so let's see what i'm doing#i think i'll try neocities again? got spooked by my own brain cuz it latched on like Crazy Hard when i got into it last time but maaaaybe#that won't happen This time (Lol. Lmao. Lol)#like not only did it frustrate me but that was the hardest and probably shortest-lived obsession i've ever had. real neat hghfsk#i Did delete all of the work i did afterwards tho cuz it still bothered me n i wasn't gonna work on it so i'll have a clean slate!! :33#//thaaat and i need to finish this piece i'm doin.. almost done but some parts are wonky... :/#i have to change the size of the head u-u but yea it might be alright after that??#i dunno cuz i feel like the sketchbook doodle looked better ; it's lost some energy :/#which is okay but i'm just a little auhh'ed by it. if you know what i mean Lol#yeaa though.. oh wells !!#/i'm gonna get on that cuz there are other things and stuffs i wanna get around to#so Ye toodles toodles :> !! o/
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girlwiththegreenhat · 10 months ago
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you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance
and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now
#liz blogs#vocaloid#this post is about project se\\kai. what a garbage ass replacement of project diva oh my god#i dont care about any of these random ass teenagers why does my vocaloid game have all these other guys in it#why are there 238928934 currencies why does it take so long to unlock new songs its just all too much and so convoluted#i wanted a rhythm game not a rhythm game that takes a backseat to visual novel and gacha game and watch 3298 ads#GET THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUTTA HERE#i thought rhythm game on a touchscreen was a bad enough idea but i wanted to be FAIR because project diva doesnt get updated anymore#even though that was THE vocaloid game for a fucking decade and they replaced it with hot flaming dogshit oh my god#its just every other fucking mobile game im gonna start biting people#im in my Hater Year but i'm actually fucking right about everything aaaAAAAAAAAA#and look. i didn't play it for too long because it was just too fucking annoying and overwhelming. but it seems like you can only#play x amount of songs in a day before you run out of energy. which you need to Buy#you get more when you level up! it recharges! but it seems that it takes longer and longer to do that#thts the only Complaint i have that i cant actually verify because i would need to play longer and i am Not doing that#but if im right. thats the biggest load of shit of all#just go back to making project diva games. let me pay for the game so i can play interrupted without all this other BS in my face#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#the like... two little visual novel bits i saw that Just had vocaloids in them were cute. i will be real with u. but who are these like#six teams of random ass teenagers i dont know and dont care about. why did u put non vocaloids in da vocaloid game. are you nuts#maybe i just need to figure out how to mod project diva cuz at this point lord knows theyre not doing anything else with it#if you wanted to have other characters sega do u know how many Other vocaloids there are. you didnt have to invent random boring teenagers#pullin a fuckin transformers and backseating your Title Characters to a bunch of random ass humans im not here for#except you charlie watson from bumblebee i love you mwah
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carcarrot · 3 months ago
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oh yea concert review . two!
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astranauticus · 7 months ago
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ok i have like five hundred other art ideas that are like higher priority to me personally but ive been playing project sekai for a couple of weeks and honestly. dont be surprised if some day i end up putting vivid bad squad fanart on your dash just bc im so enamoured by the hair colour situations that shiraishi an and aoyagi toya have going on
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sesamestreep · 1 year ago
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Din Djarin, 30
30. was it worth it? (from this list) further adventures in that modern au with anti-social baseball cap wearing single dad din djarin because i have no idea what's happening on the show anymore, let's doooo this
Once Din pulls into the driveway, he cuts the engine and sends up a tentative prayer to the universe that the sound is not enough to wake Grogu up. The kid is zonked out in his booster seat in the back, clutching the stuffed animal Din had won him at the fair—at the booth where you shoot a target with a water pistol to make it move, of course, because his aim is still worth writing home about after all these years—and seemingly unbothered by the sudden quiet. Din breathes a sigh of relief and then shifts his focus to the daunting task of trying to get this kid out of his seat, up two flights of stairs, and into the apartment without somehow waking him. It's not going to be easy.
With another sigh, Din opens the door and keeps it there with his foot as he digs around in the center console for his phone and his wallet before pulling the keys out of the ignition. Belatedly, he sees the golden light pouring from the open garage door and realizes Cal must be working in there still. Before Din can properly catch up, Cal is already outside and on his way over.
"I'll uh," Din says, as he gets out, gesturing back at the car, "I'll get this out of your way in a few, I just gotta get the kid upstairs first."
Cal shakes his head, already smiling. "No rush," he says, easily. "We're not going anywhere. And besides, you're always up early anyway. Do it in the morning."
"I don't want to block you all in, if you need to—"
"Like I said, we're not going anywhere. It's fine."
"Well—”
"I'll ask Merrin, if it'll make you feel better! But she will definitely also say it's fine."
Merrin is Cal's—well, Din isn't sure if they're married or not. Cal doesn't wear a ring and Merrin wears dozens, so it's hard to tell. They're definitely a couple, because they do that seamless first person plural thing all the time when they talk about each other, but if they happen to refer to each other in the third person, they just use each other's names, rather than “my spouse” or “my partner”, except for the time Cal—perhaps accidentally—referred to her as "my Merrin" and she made a face and mimed punching him in the stomach for it. They live on the first floor and generally manage the property because they know the owner, which means Cal has all of his tools and his work bench in the garage for his various projects and Merrin tends to the garden out back, which grows a bunch of vegetables and strange plants that Din isn't convinced should be able to survive in this climate. He suspects she has a way with these things but has never bothered to ask about it.
"I'll take your word for it," Din says, reluctantly. "And I appreciate it."
"No problem," Cal replies. "Need any help?"
Din opens the door and starts unbuckling Grogu from his seat. "Uh, I think I'm alright, but thanks."
Cal leans slightly back, so as not to be in the way when Din gently lifts Grogu out of the car and tucks him over his shoulder. "Wow, you really tuckered him out, huh?"
"Yeah. We went to the fair, the, uh, Apple and Trout something or other...?"
Cal laughs. "Peach and Chowder Festival," he corrects. "I know it well."
"This is a strange town."
"I know that too. Looks like you did alright, though."
"Yeah," Din says, gingerly lifting the tail of the stuffed shark in acknowledgement. Another parent at the booth had claimed it was a knockoff of some famous trademarked shark but Din doesn't know about all that. He only knows it was the next best thing in Grogu's mind when there were no frog or lizard plushes to be won. "He's happy, at least."
Cal tips his head to the side, curiously. "You didn't enjoy yourself?"
"Ah, well, you know...crowds and lots of noise and kids all hopped up on sugar...that's not really my thing. But it's not about me, it's about him, so..."
"Yeah," Cal says, with a small smile. He puts a hand gently on Grogu's back. "Bet that makes it all worth it, huh?"
Din suddenly feels very stupid for never bothering to ask Cal or Merrin if they have kids. He’s never been great at that stuff, asking the right questions to really get to know people, and so he can only guess what their situation is. He thinks they're about his age, give or take a few years, and that means they're young enough that, if they had any children, he expects they'd still be living together, but he's not sure about that. They could have kids old enough to be living on their own, he supposes. And they've always been kind to Grogu, never once making a snide comment about him not talking much or needing his space sometimes, the way some other folks do. Sometimes, Cal will even let the kid hang out in the garage to watch him work, waving away Din's concerns about him being too much trouble by pointing to Beady, the cat that's almost always curled up around his neck or perched on his shoulder.
"If I can work with this one around," Cal's fond of saying, "your son's no bother."
Still, Din's not sure how exactly to ask that politely—if they have children of their own or not—especially if the answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no. And there is something complicated and sad about what Cal's expression is doing right now.
"Anyway," he says, cheerfully after a moment, and the expression is gone, tucked away somewhere. "I'll get out of your hair. Just wanted to offer some help if you needed it."
Din clears his throat, thinking about how his therapist is always talking about how he should get better at accepting the kindness other people offer him and also something about how his upbringing had convinced him there's some nobility in suffering needlessly. He probably can get Grogu inside and into bed without any assistance, but it would be easier with help. There had also been a discussion in therapy about depriving people of the satisfaction of showing their love for him by turning down their offers to be of service.
"Actually," he says, feeling foolishly nervous about something so small and seemingly easy, "if you could grab the door for me, that would be a huge help."
"Of course," Cal says, with an easy smile. "Happy to."
"And let’s just, uh, make sure we don't lose the shark,” Din says, as they make their way up the steps. “I don’t think I have it in me to win another one.”
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bisexualalistairtheirin · 1 year ago
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Deep Roads Shortcut and Skip The Fade aren't even mods in my mind anymore... they are like siblings to me.
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